neonxelectricxbunnys

Sorry I haven't been posting lately
actually I think I just had a breakthrough
because my semester is ending and I've been learning about
enviromental lighting..Thinking to myself yea this is gonna be fun
Honestly I have to say its worse class I've ever taken
thanks to the teacher
he's not even teacher uhhhh
but I have learned alot and gotten better because
one of my classmates knows more then the teacher and can actually
teach way better then him

Honestly Guys this class has sucked me dry
I had to wake up early and I'm not morning person
I'm practically 100% nocturnal
and this class........His criticism and the way he wants us to shoot our
projects are such a downer
practically wants me shooting people like I'm taking high school portraits
and I totally disapprove of that >

I've never been soo lost and uninspired to take photos
in my life this month I almost got scared that I lost my eye for this
when I take photos I at least find one photo or something that moves me
and makes me feel better for the month or the next month
but lately its not been going through I've just been so lacking motivation
and encouragement from everything and everybody around me

its depressing...but today I think I found it again
like I just needed to finish a project but after that I couldn't
stop I took alot photos that seem more like me
and I'm gonna post them to make up
from the lack of posting on here :/

so its all good
and this week is my last week of classes and semester which is
a HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!! because I need this break
I need a Vacation really bad
the last vacation I had was 3 years ago
and all in my head I keep on thinking about Europe or New York
I need it
that would be some perfect pictures to take
Europe

Well all in all this up coming month I'm gonna be staying focused
on my wedding coming up and clients more then anything
I'm gonna make myself be soo busy that I forget about my birthday coming lol

So........
my photos have stepped it up a notch
they have been looking better then usual
a little better and little less ametuer
This is making me really happy
I've been learning soo much from my school
and soooo blessed and happy to be going there
I've met some amazing people
and so far i've come across some ups and downs
but going to this school
I've learned you have to be really really dedicated and serious about this place
and once you do you can photograph the most amazing stuff
I haven't been posting most of it up
i've been posting some of the stuff i've been doing at home and with friends
but most of my studio work
i've been keeping low key for a little bit
i will be posting them after I turn them in as my final

I love photography
because I think its the one thing that won't ever leave me
it won't wake up one day and realize it doesn't love me anymore
everytime I take a photo i am proud of I get sooooo excited
just one happy feeling that I never usually feel doing anything else
I wish I could feel like that other times
but this is just what tells me that I know what I'm supposed to do

Well things have gotten
better sorta

things have been half and half lately
so good
but then
not so good

I have a job now
yayy!!! lol

but i work alot
but I get paid

its complicated uhhh....

I've started my college photography classes
I like it so far
I just hope I can stick with it
since I have the job and everything

Since I've been having fun
and trying to escape certain facts
and responsibitiies
I've never really realized
How alone
I am in this world
and how little love there is in everyone
and how heartless people can be

its depressing

I wish I could find one person
thats not like everyone else
and feels the way I do
about society today

So I'm feeling great
I'm feeling pumped and active
big time

I've been pretty much busy
and I've decided I'm gonna start
experimenting and go to more shows
and try taking more photos of bands

like I need a good practice
and I'm gonna start a side project
with my friends

I think collaborating
with 3 amazing ppl will be something
new and really good:]

and good things are coming up in my life right now
college is really right around the corner now:/
mostly scared about it
but talking to my friends helps me feel alot better about it

I'm still feeling positive and optimistic about things
I'm getting there
I'm working hard
and not letting anything get me down

Lots of new things have been happening
new experiences
I tried rock climbing it was amazing
pretty much I'm gonna make it part of me
and my time
its a really good work out and therapy

my sleep schedule was fixed awhile ago
but that ended soon
enough
I have to fix it again
trying to go to bed early
its really hard sometimes
you find some really interesting things
when your trying to get to bed lol

I'm trying to take more pictures
but I've been dying to go outside and take photos
but its not so simple in florida when its constantly raining
I don't wanna take pictures when its raining
the pictures come out very very dull :/

but I'm gonna try and find something new
and do more collages